Jojo's Bizarre Shit-fic
by kibley
Summary: Jotaro faces his greatest foe yet, The Brown Note...


Koichi Hirose opens his eyes in a cold sweat.

"Jeepers, bites the dust must have sent me back too far huh?"

Koichi takes in his surroundings and realises he isn't in Morioh anymore, the dry desert air fills his lungs and the clay, brown bricks that make up the buildings stand tall before him. He is only 5 foot 2 after all…

In the distance a tall figure in a black outfit appears to be heading in his direction. Upon closer inspection Koichi recognizes the familiar face.

"J-Jotaro! Where are we?"

A young Jotaro no older than he, looks down at the schoolboy who called him out.

"Out of my way… I'm busy." Jotaro says before being interrupted.

"…Oh, your busy all right…" A voice from a distance beckons him. "shitting your pants that is…!"

"N-Nani!" Koichi yells.

"My name is Gluteus! And I will be your demise! Dio sent me here to stop you, even he fears my wretched ability"

"Hmmf! We'll see…" Jotaro says, as he begins to bring out Star Platinum, but something stops him, a sensation, unpleasant yet relieving.

Gluteus smirks and pulls out his stand. "This is my stand… The Brown Note! …Do you feel it now Jotaro? The warm sensation within your back pockets that sparks true fear in all who stand before it… a power that makes even Dio shutter!"

Jotaro shivers, he had a hearty lunch, some Egyptian curry that wasn't sitting too well with him. Now all coming out all at once flowing gracefully down his pant legs.

"G-Guh!" Jotaro says, loosing his balance for a moment.

"J-Jotaro…!" Koichi yells unaware of the effect The Brown Note had on him.

"My stand makes anyone that hears its beautiful song defecate frivolously!"

Upon closer inspection The Brown Note appeared to be a Toilet with human qualities, several robotic like features adorned its sides, and a toilet bowl with a steaming hot "chocolate pie" rests upon its head.

"This is my power Jotaro! The power to make even the most noble men fall in shame and embarrassment"

"…Yare yare"

Jotaro pulls out Star Platinum and uses Star Finger to plug up his rectum to put a stop the continues flow, Star was knuckle deep.

"…Yare yare, to resort to such unsavory tactics just to gain the upper hand. And for what? One of Dio's lackeys…

Gluteus takes a step back into the alleyway he emerged from.

"Follow me if you can Jotaro… You muscle headed idiot!"

Gluteus takes several more steps into the alleyway leading Jotaro with him.

Koichi watching in disbelief calls out to Jotaro "W-Wait! Your going to just face him head on?!"

"What did you say your name was?" Jotaro turns his head towards him.

"K-Koichi" He says nervously, now realising the consequences of revealing to much about him and the future.

"Get away from here it's not safe, that bastard bowel blaster is to dangerous."

Jotaro turns and walks deeper into the alleyway, right where Gluteus led him…

"Jotaro! This was your last mistake!" Gluteus yells. Out of the shadows of the alleyway, several of Dio's servants emerge, nude from the waste down.

"Get ready boys!" The servants turn around and bend over to present their behinds, each one with their own chocolate starfish.

Jotaro realising the upcoming storm, attempts to maneuver out of the blast radius, but due to Stars thick fingers, his movement was to restricted.

The Brown Note blasts a furious sound all around, causing each servant to defecate more wildly then ever before…

Jotaro being covered head to toe in dung, falls over, immobilized.

"You see Jotaro… my The Brown Note can not only cause those who hear it to… release themselves… but it can also control the force and quality!"

"Jotaro!" Koichi yells from outside the alley. "Gluteus uses sound to manipulate ones bowels… can act 1 do the same…?"

Koichi steps forward to send out Echoes act 1. "If The Brown Note works like regular sound, and if I create some sort of inverse effect… maybe I can stop it?"

Koichi uses Act 1 on each of the servants, the Kanji for "constipation" appears on each lower cheek.

"It worked!" Koichi yells.

Jotaro rises, covered like a chocolate fondue.

Gluteus backs up, scared, for the first time in his life he realises that his Stand Ability won't do much against those with such resolve.

"…Yare yare… You look scared" A dirtied Jotaro says. "You look like you just shit yourself in public or something…"

"W-wait! Jotaro listen… I won't ever use my Stand again just plea-" "ORA" Star's free hand had collided with The Brown Note's fragile porcelain toilet rim, breaking Gluteus's skull.

"ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA" A fury of punches land all over The Brown Note, causing Gluteus to fly back into the end of the alleyway's wall.

Jotaro stands over Gluteus's body and notices a fragrance coming from his corpse… It seems as if Gluteus discharged one last time in fear…

Koichi standing in the alleyway put away act 1, forgetting about the dam's it was holding strong against. The servants that had held it in for so long now released a wave of brown all over the boy. Koichi Stunned by a literal explosion of fecal matter, awoke back in Morioh. It seems the effect was so strong from being held in so long that it worked as a reverse-bites the dust. Everything was back to normal.

….

….

…

"Jeez something smells like shit" Polnareff says sniffing his armpits.

A black shadow covers Jotaro's face, as he says nothing.


End file.
